I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
