I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
