I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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