you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
