I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
