He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
