i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
