Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
