dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
