If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
