Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I skipped work to stalk him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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