if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
