Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
