I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize