is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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