that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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