and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
