dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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