i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
