I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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