69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We need to get me chipped asap
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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