Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
