I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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