Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
