As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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