I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
