I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
