oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
