but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
