I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
