Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
