I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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