id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just forgot I was standing up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
