Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
