Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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