I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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