I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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