As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
