cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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