I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
