they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
