do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
