:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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