Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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