Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
