i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
