Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
