You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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