I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
