Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
