You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
